shuofucious's Xanga

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Wed, 28 May 2008 08:41:54 GMT

Nick Manning is hilarious, how do you come up with that shit?

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Sun, 18 May 2008 21:31:59 GMT

LOL best comment in a while:

"Asian's are the new Jews on wall street.... and as Jew I'm worried!"

Friday, May 16, 2008

Fri, 16 May 2008 08:12:41 GMT

Bad Transportation Day

Dunno what was up today but just got unlucky with traveling I guess. First, there was a ton of traffic on 280 so it took so long to get to Millbrae. Then, the Bart trains were going beserk because of the electrical fire over the weekend. It literally took 1 hr 15 minutes to get from Millbrae to Daly City. Then on the way from tonight, all the on ramps to get on 101 South at Millbrae Ave were closed, so I had to go down to Broadway.

I guess in retrospect, none of this was a big deal at all.....

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Thu, 15 May 2008 08:07:55 GMT

A few things:

1) Battle Raper and Battle Raper II: The Game (I can only hope a movie is also coming soon) are fucking hilarious. The game itself is impossible to play without wanting to physically get violent with your computer, but once the game gets going, it's so bad and outrageous that I laughed for a good 30 minutes. The first game revolves around the concept that a human bio weapon has been created that rapes women. You get to play as this fellow (who looks like the biggest douche bag ever, complete with one yellow cat eye for no reason) that goes around attacking these girls. The locations are equally bizarre. Starting off on this alley, somehow it turns into the oil refinery, and a girl with a motorcycle comes to save her friend just as you're about to rape her, but wait, now it's a space ship, and you start to fight this new girl. As you deplete the girl's health, her clothing inexplicably fly off in the most suggestive ways, until she's completely naked. This activiates a mini game where you must do "damage" (rape) with in a certain amount of time to finally defeat your opponent. During the whole process the girl is crying and tears stream down her cheeks, and it's all very disturbing yet funny when you imagine that people programmed this shit into the game. I forgot to mention that you can do special combos during the normal combat portion that always involve some sort of groping or leg spreading. They do ridiculous amounts of damage for no reason at all. There is no reason that fondling a girl's boobs would cut her health by 25%. Finally, after raping a bunch of women, we're at this mystical temple that is also a space ship that looks like the Hindenburg blimp. The final boss girl comes out and she has this weird cyber armor that makes her look like a medieval knight that works at Intel, but its no matter because your character has maxed out strength and every good attribute possible while all the girl characters have almost no strength but a lot of speed (it doesn't help as the AI is apparently programmed to have the girl run at you, thus the extra speed only means the girls get up really fast and run toward me after I knock them down, speeding up the whole raping process). The final boss girl goes down like all the others and then the space ship/oil refinery/temple explodes while some weird artifact glows with unestablished significance. This is a terrible terrible game, and even the sex parts were utterly terrible. I can't think of any redeeming value for this except for humor. It's just so ridiculous that it's funny as hell. Yes, I think this was the game references on Penny arcade a few years ago and yes I see why they didn't rate it.

If it is any consolation to legions of fans waiting for a fighting game that combines non consensual sex, Battle Raper II is a significantly better game, but still utterly terrible. It's like choose your own rape adventure, and half the time the game involves going through tedious story line. The main character is squall leonheart from FFVIII only with a different outfit and he fights there women from the future. At least I think it's from the future. All the settings are from the past though. Oh yeah, and some how there are zombies that attack you too for no reason. I'm guessing they want to rape the women too, i dunno. But yeah, everyone is dressed like a school girl, or cyber Intel employee and you can choose allies and stuff, and there is this crazy bat bitch that is your friend (or is she?) and throughout the whole game she has a giant bell stuff up her ass for no reason. Do succubus have bell's in their ass? I never knew. But anyway, the good news is that the fighting part of the game is significantly improved and there are actually some decent combos, and the AI is a lot smarter. Women actually block and counter and some even attack now. Again, it's still not really relevant as the main character's kick move is ridiculously powerful and has a range that somehow super passes even that of a huge sword. Playing through, I just kept thinking about that time at Golfland watching Calvin play Soul Caliber with that guy with that huge raping pole. Squall's leg in Battle Raper II has about the same range as that weapon. After kicking the shit out of the girls, you can also heal them, and surprisingly after beating them up, most of their wounds are on their inner thigh, vagina, and breasts. If you rub gently while they are passed out (with the mouse) you can heal them and then they will join your party. If you wake them up, you fight them again. Depending on who you ally with and fight, at the end there is an interactive consensual sex mini game that is a lot better done than the first game, but still really funny. I was hoping there would be some "light dick" action, but alas, we get some translucent bullshit, sorry Phil. Overall I'm impressed by how much better the 2nd game was, and I have to say, if they make a 3rd one, it might actually be good.

2) I like Tiffany settings as it's simply and lets a lot of light into the stone. At 1,500- 2,000 dollars, it's not that pricey compared to Cartier and other settings and it has a bit of a legacy behind it. However it is one of the most common styles and I'm not sure how I feel about that. Overall I like the designs of Cartier better, but the prices leave me convinced I need to switch to banking or use my engineering skills to rob banks. Either way, platinum is the way to go apparently. a 1.5 caret stone wasn't as expensive as I first thought either, I'm glad I took the time to learn this shit now, so when I need it in the future (distant future) I'll know my stuff and have the budgeting prepared.

3) I am tired of school. Diploma me so I can do nothing for a while. Oh and fuck the MBA application process. More standardized testing and essay writing? I thought I was done with you forever. So that's what I'll be doing over the summer while I'm not just chilling out. Mexico sounds good right now, a nice vacation to Cancun for a week would hit the spot. I'm gonna try to make it to the Philippines and Korea too. First things first, got to lock down and APT, pass my classes, graduate and celebrate it with school friends, and gain 10 more pounts. I'm way too thin.

4) My Berkeley Webdisk account is going to die any day now, so I'll lose most of my xanga shit. Might take the opportunity to start another blog, gotta find out how I can save all my xanga entries quickly and easily though.

5) I was totally into the 911 Turbo all last week, but today after watching some videos about it, I totally cycled back to my old opinion that it's a great car but I don't like it. Audi RS4 looks amazing. I'm glad I'm spending time to get into car stuff again, kinda forgot how much I enjoy it.

6) I need to solidify my resolve to NOT buy a computer. That's money that I need to save for the future.

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Tue, 06 May 2008 02:32:05 GMT

Man, reading about engagement rings online at blue nile is like brain cancer.

"Platinum is the strongest, most pure metal, it will last a life time"

WTF does that mean?? Before I even touch on the matter of the physical strength of platinum, what the fuck does it mean when a metal is "most pure" ?? It's especially laughable when right below this, it says that the fittings are made from a 95% platinum alloy. Guess what, that doesn't make it more pure. I'm guessing purity is a good word for marketing reasons so I'll let it slide. I'm sure how well the metal is alloyed will translate fantastically to the success of the marriage, but then again, that would mean an impure metal would be stronger....

I feel like when talking to people at stores too it's impossible to use words other than "shiny" and "brilliant." Oh wait, I also say the words "Fuck that is expensive" a lot. This has been a very unpleasant experience. Fuck you western bourgeois ideals with your shiny stones, I'm buying red ribbon at Michaels for 3.99 a yard.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Thu, 17 Apr 2008 21:38:32 GMT

Man, I really have to remind myself to go rent a cap and gown soon. Things have been pretty chill this week so far, at least school wise so I should take care of all this business while I still can. Feeling pretty lazy though. I got a PSP to play Crisis Core and some other stuff too. Since I don't plan to get a TV or a next gen system anytime soon, I'm gonna focus on mobile gaming platforms, especially since it looks like I'll be traveling a lot over the summer, and once school starts. There are a lot of good games coming out for DS and PSP I can stock up on and work through slowly as I travel too. Crisis Core has been pretty good so far. It brings back a lot of the good feelings I had while playing FFVII. The combat system is pretty awesome too, I hope FFXIII will be like this. It's like kingdom hearts, but no disney stuff.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Wed, 16 Apr 2008 07:18:05 GMT

Massive party this weekend over at Thomas' place and a few people ended up coming back to Stanford since they were way too gone to drive home. Kyle and his girlfriend who happened to be visiting this week ended up crashing on my couch for the night. Well, I knew that she had been drinking a lot that night, but I didn't know exactly how much.

I woke up early to hear frantic talking in the living room. Kyle sounded livid, but it was weird because at the same time he was obviously trying to control the volume of his voice as to not wake anyone else up. The anger got the better of him and I got up to check on them. I thought they might be having a fight because Kyle was being a douche last night with the guys, talking about other women or something. I dunno, something silly.

Long story short, as I walked out to the living room, Kyle walked over with the strangest expression on his face:

"She fucking shat on me dude....."

Yup, I saw (and smelled) a nice brown smear running from his upper thigh down to his ankles. The sloppy brown had blended in nicely with the dark blue of his new fitted jeans and it would have looked just like mud it it wasn't for that distinctive smell of poo......

Ok, so I admit I thought it was funny at that point. Well, probably right after that funny impulse, 2 more neurons fired in my head and reminded me that they slept in my apt, on my couch.

Fuck

Leaving Kyle alone as he tried to rub the shit out of his jeans, I walked into the living room only to feel really really bad for Kaylynn. Imagine being hung over, in a strange person's apartment, desperately in need of a shower, frantically trying to clean shit off of a cloth covered couch at 6 am in the morning. One look at Kaylynn swipping furiously at the couch cushion changed my concern for the cleanliness of my furniture into empathy for her and how embarrassing this much be.

I think she said something like "I'm so sorry" but I don't remember clearly as at that point I think my brain totally reminded itself that I had been drinking too and turned everything into a blur. Kyle ended up leaving right after he washed his jeans and I have to say, while I know it's no picnic to be shat on by your girlfriend, I didn't quite understand or agree with his anger at Kaylynn. At that point, with her boyfriend gone and pissed, and feeling embarrassed and emotionally vulnerable, she didn't seem like she was in any shape to function, not until she got some more sleep at least. There is some sort of plausible ending to this happy little story here and I'm sure it goes something to the tune of:

1) I let her take a shower and use the washing machines
2) She apologies some more, and gets more embarrassed
3) I take advantage of her situation and use some choice words
4) I fuck the shit of her (not literally) on my clean bed
5) I wake up again after 4 hours of sleep to find her still passed out
6) I make a mental note to not be Kyle's friend anymore

After fondeling her boob for a few minutes while Kaylynn is passed out, I dress and go to class. I had a paper for Org Behavior I needed to turn in.

Choooo chooooooo!

Friday, April 11, 2008

Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:02:25 GMT

Hahahaha....

DEAR ABBY: I have a friend, "Bob," who has a strange sense of humor. A lot of people don't find him funny, and this time I'm afraid he's gone too far.

His most recent prank was to fake his own death. Bob even went so far as to submit a fake obituary. The problem is we have mutual friends in other states who are convinced he is dead and are pretty shaken up about it.

I want to tell everyone the truth, but I know Bob will see it as a betrayal. I don't want to hurt our relationship, but I hate to see our friends in pain. What should I do? -- DILEMMA IN DALLAS

DEAR DILEMMA: Your "friend" has a cruel and twisted sense of humor, and if you are wise, you'll distance yourself from him. Not only has he hurt people who care about him, but if he has done this to avoid paying taxes or other financial obligations, it is fraud.

Since you asked, you should inform anyone who inquires that Bob is still very much among them -- and advise them to give him a call when you know he'll be picking up.

P.S. If someone did that to me, I'd pretend he WAS dead.

Monday, April 07, 2008

Mon, 07 Apr 2008 06:57:23 GMT

Hooking up in a broom closet is a good idea

Friday, April 04, 2008

Fri, 04 Apr 2008 05:24:36 GMT

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/03/27/world/asia/27ammo.html?_r=3&pagewanted=1&hp&oref=slogin

22 year old kid scams the entire US government and wins a $300 million dollar weapons contract that was originally meant to help supply the Afghanistan militia with guns and ammo to resist the Taliban. This 22 year old guy buys up decaying weapons stockpiles from China (circa 1966) and then delivers them to Afghanistan. Well, the US government may be dumb, but they catch on eventually, and now they are investigating this guy after 5 years. Haha, this is simultaneously funny and amazing that he pulled this shit off, and at the same time very disconcerting that over 300 million dollars can be awarded to a facade arms corporation.